Weird or What

 This past week was rough, no doubt about it. Most times I just push through. It's really all you can do when you are fighting with depression.

 I went on a bit of a movie watching binge this weekend, within the comedy section on Prime. I don't always read the details, rather get drawn towards actors that I like. As it turns out all 4 of these movies ..........

World's best Dad

Just before I go

It's kind of a Funny Story

The Angriest Man in Brooklyn

..... are about suicide and death. 

2 have happy endings and 2 result in actual death. 

All four were worth watching. 

And yes, they were in the 'comedy' section? Don't figure - right.

I don't believe in coincidences so I can't help but wonder what God's message was in all of it. 

I think it would be good for schools to show the one called "it's kind of a funny story". It might actually help a few kids, with the number of teens committing suicide these days. Bullies have been around since I was a kid. In fact, it was because of all the bullying, that I chose to not go on to college. I wanted to get away from school as soon as possible. {I was way younger than my classmates and they all had a problem with that. Being smart has a negative side too}

Being old now, has come with its own issues in the fight against depression.

Not all family is what you would expect from family, sometimes you outlive your value with some people. Other times you tend to think if you would have died sooner, you wouldn't have had to endure the pain inflicted by people. I don't believe any of them realize the pain and how much hurt they have caused you.

Many of us sacrificed everything for our families and don't feel appreciated by all, rather instead being blamed by some, for their own 'hard times' in life. As if their choices were our fault. Little do they realize that their choices complicated our lives, more than our choices complicated theirs. 

Most people hide their 'personal' feelings. Many don't believe you should be 'too personal' on social media. I myself think that everyone that only shares the good times are unreal on social media. Nobody has a perfect life. Everyone has things that they struggle with. I consider it being 'fake' to not be 'real' about it. 

My mom put the world on my shoulders at a very young age. 

Her philosophy was ~ People are watching you. There are others struggling on the inside and need to see someone else go through things, to give them the strength to get through what it is that they are going through. ~ 

As if it was up to me, to show them the way through the tunnel.

The domestic violence in my life has led to many days in courtrooms full of people, where very private moments had to be shared publicly. {I used to be a shy quiet child}. Over the years I became a very loud advocate and was actually part of the changes on a few things for the better. Making it easier for victims to get through the process and live to tell about it.

So, here we are @ The Bright Side of the Barn. Where life is real and not always 'happily ever after'. Life is raw and sometimes down and depressing. More than once I've had someone 'thank me', for sharing the inside of my life. More often than once I've had someone tell me, 'They were on their way to commit suicide and it was our conversation or the actions of my kids, that stopped them, and they lived on'. 

Too often told 'You should write a book'. I've chosen to write a 'blog'. As I once told a therapist, there is too much in my head, I have to sort it all out and I need post it's to help me put it in order. Thus, the blog has helped by giving each thought a title. A book, maybe someday, maybe not. The blog has accomplished more I believe. The followers and the feedback have been incredible. 

So here we are. The movies helped me through the weekend. Maybe they will help some of you - too. Either way, remember 'Life is worth living' and you really don't know what tomorrow might bring. Stick around, it's worth finding out. 

Blessed by God

Life's weird sometimes @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping by

Until next time, Stay safe and Happy Trails.

Light Up Your Summer

 See the new and Beautiful Home Decor for Summer,

Love the ocean? bring it home with our Seaside accents. 

  Visit my shop link and order direct,

or host a party for some great bonus buys 

Blessed by God

Life's a party @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

Gratitude

 

I have a friend that once told me, she wakes up with a song in her heart every morning. Singing to herself and her dogs as she starts her day. 

Can you imagine being able to be that happy with your life? Not to wake up stressed out or thinking about the problems of the day before? 

She grew up in a large family that was quite poor. Made her own way in life to become quite rich financially. Even richer spiritually. To be able to wake up happy - just because she woke up. 

We take so much to bed with us. So much on our minds, and weighing on our hearts. Sometimes we forget the simple things, like the privilege to 'wake up'. 

I found out yesterday that my neighbor passed away. He was an elderly gentleman, had just recently sold his big house and bought the brand new mobile home next door in a new park development. It took him a couple months to get moved in and I don't think he even made it a month living in his new house. The ambulance was here quite frequently in the short time he was here, sometimes back to back days in a row. Then it got quiet. A couple weeks passed with no sign of him. Now he's gone. 

The sorrow of getting something new and wonderful and not living long enough to be able to enjoy it. Very sad. He had let go of so much of the load in his life trying to simplify, just didn't get it done in time to be able to relax. 

Everyday we wake up it's a blessing in itself. An opportunity to feel joy and see the beauty in this world around us. We get into our 'ruts' the daily grind. Waking up - going to work - coming home to do chores - pay bills - very little of our time is spent enjoying our lives, our families and the world we live in. Perhaps this is why so many feel a sense of anger and discontentment more than peace and joy. 

I don't believe it was God's plan for us to work more than we live. Our work was supposed to be in caring for the earth and the creatures around us. Planting - growing - and eating what is good. Watching flowers bloom and babies grow up. Teaching them and watching as they learn. We've lost the way in many ways. 

Take just one day to wake up grateful to have woken up. To appreciate what you have rather than worry about what you don't have. Make an effort to make someone else's day a little brighter. Listen to the birds sing and watch the grass grow. One of the most peaceful sounds I know, it to listen to the horses while they eat chewing on hay. It might sound silly but I assure you, it's very relaxing and brings peace unto your soul. 

Spotting a lizard in the beauty bark in the yard, seeing a hummingbird amongst the flowers. Watching the eagles float in the sky above. The glimpse of a mama elk and her calf, grazing in a pasture along side the road. There is so much beauty in the world around us and so much more we don't see - because we are too busy and in too big of a hurry. 

Imagine waking up with a song in your heart and peace in your soul. It really is a beautiful world we live in. We were meant to enjoy it. It's a privilege to wake up every day. Appreciate it. 

Blessed by God

Life can be beautiful @ the Bright Side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping By

Until next time, Stay safe and Happy Trails.

Moving has been Delayed.

 I should have said 'delayed again'.. which is okay. I have been praying about a few things, including how I was going to accomplish this move before the first, and 'what to do' about a couple other things. My prayers were answered in the sense, I'm given more time to get things worked out. The person doing all this for me is amazing and I hope God blesses him for all the kindness and generosity that has been gifted to me. And during the course of our conversation tonight, I was told "Don't worry about it" more than once, and also told, "We'll get you taken care of, you are not going to end up with no place to go". God is amazing! and so are the people that He uses to help others. Angels in human form.

I am so grateful to everyone that has helped me through this struggling times. A friend today apologized, that she couldn't do more. Please know, everything that anyone did was a blessing to me. Whether it was $20 or $200. A place for the night or being invited over for a meal and a shower. Each and everyone that helped, HELPED!

I would not have gotten to here or made it this far without all of you. I will be forever grateful, and I love each and everyone of you.

Your kindness, hospitality and generosity restored my faith and gave me the hope I needed to carry on and keep going. This year has been overwhelming for me, in the many blessings I've received and the amazing miracles that have happened. I tear up when I think about each one and the things that have been done for me. My life was never easy and for the most part I always felt I was doing it alone with no one but my kids. My world has grown to include so many wonderful people. Each one of you special in your own way. Like I said, I never would have made it this far without you.

I can't thank you enough. May God bless each of you and may your lives be filled with blessings and miracles touched by angels. 2025 is truly the 'Year of the Lord' for me, I hope it is for you too. God is great! and so are all of you.

Blessed by God

Life is amazing @ the Bright Side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

Do you really believe that?

 

You spend the better part of 2 decades close to someone, pretty much daily. Then along comes someone else with 'stories' about them - and you question them, all but believing the stories? Really? 

 What you seen with your own eyes, and what you knew from the relationship you had with that person wasn't enough for you? You actually questioned them as if the 'stories' were true. 

 All I can say is 'wow'. 

I'm guessing you weren't one to defend them either.

Ever wonder why they feel hurt by you? 

Why your relationship isn't as close as it used to be? 

Gossip hurts people, especially when people would rather believe the gossip than the truth. 

If what you experienced with your own relationship and your own eyes wasn't enough for you to see the truth, there is really nothing that person can say to defend themselves.

Why would they even want to? You've already made up your mind when you questioned them. 

Be careful what you choose to believe, people tend to try hard to turn one against another. 

Blessed by God

Life's full of mystery @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

Let's talk about The Weather

Washington used to be famous for our RAIN. That being one of the reasons we were called the Evergreen State. Temp's used to stay in a moderate range, never too cold never too hot.

You would have to travel to the mountains to find snow, rarely seen in the lower Mainlands. You could go to the beach any time of the year and not freeze your butt off.  January was beautiful at the beach.

Over the last several years our weather has changed. It's gotten far colder in the winter with the cold lasting longer, and way hotter in the summer almost unbearable at times. With sudden and abrupt changes from one to the other. Night temp's staying colder even in the heat of summer.

 With summer taking longer to get here and quicker to leave. The news announcer would more often than not get it RIGHT for a change. Why - How? One must wonder. Many states have 'ban' the "chem trails" produced purposely by small aircrafts, to bring on the rain, while others still insist it is nothing more than a 'conspiracy theory' about the government dumping chemicals in the air to create 'mind control' amongst other things. 

I believe it's called 'weather manipulation' and the government is well aware of it's ability. Why else would some states ban the process? 

Let's think about this for a minute.....

- 'Con trails' from airplanes leaving the airport, are small and disappear rather than forming into large clouds.

- Why is it whenever these little airplanes criss cross the sky with the trails that expand into 'fake clouds' - we end up with rain the next day or so? 

{Watch your skies and take note of it next time, see how soon it rains.}

- Why did it become unlawful to collect rainwater in barrels? Something folks have done for years upon years. 

{Is someone afraid of what the chemicalized water will do to you if you drink it?}

- How is the weather news able to predict so far in the future now? 

{They know the schedule for these flights, and know when it's due to rain}

- Why did some states ban the process of flying 'chemicals' into their skies, if this is just a conspiracy theory?

- Why has our weather become so unstable - and it's been announced this isn't 'global warming' by nature.

Let's not forget the scientific facts that 

We know that mountains erupting travel ash around the world and back.

Tsunamis bring debris to shores on the opposite ends of the earth. 

So what do these manmade clouds do to our weather, 

both where they are sprayed and where they travel too? 

Has not the weather become more aggressive and destructive over the last few years? 

Far more disasters than ever before. 

Watch your skies and decide for yourself.  

Are 'we' manipulating the weather? 

Is is such a good idea to play with the natural order of things? 

Blessed by God

Life's beautiful @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

Moving Time Plans

 When it's time to move there is so much that has to be done. Some things all have to wait until the last minute, which can make the last minutes feel rushed!

 I live by LISTS, POST ITS, and my DATEBOOK. Truly I would be lost without them. 

First things to know would be 

                    A. When you are moving.

                    B. Where your moving to.

1.  Pack up everything you don't use on a daily basis.

2. Coordinate your moving vehicle with the moving date.

3. Contact your utilities and get disconnects and transfers hooked up. 

4. Get your change of address packet, if you have the new address you can fill it out and send it in. 

5. Save as much extra money as you can for the gas and expenses of THE DAY.

6. Buy fewer groceries as it gets closer, so you have less food to move and keep frozen or cold.

7.  Day before finish packing everything.

8.  Moving day - Load the truck.

9.  Clean the former residence.

10. Arrive at the new destination and UNPACK.

For me this is going to be the complete unpacking. After having most of my things in boxes for a year now, I will finally be able to unpack it all. Hang pictures, put up shelves, start accumulating furniture. In the last 5 years I haven't had much furniture of my own. The RV's come furnished and when you're staying with someone it's their furniture you sleep on. For me, this is a long-awaited journey HOME. 

 I really didn't want to have to move so much. As a child my parents moved continually and the number of schools I had to attend was ridiculous. I wanted my kids to have a solid home growing up. With their dad that was impossible. The drinking and violent outbursts got us evicted, or the constant invasion of his family, caused me to want to move further and further away. 

 Once divorced we did get the opportunity to be in one place for nearly a decade. However, it was a constant battle with Tim's family about the house. Being left to pay several of his mother's bills and the declining condition of the property, it became necessary to sell and move on. It was at that time that the realization that he had mental issues started to come into play. For most of the next 15 years he was in denial and refused to seek help - instead blaming me for his own mental illness, which was the final collapse of the relationship.

 Life has been a series of 'go here' 'go there' - trying to figure out where I was supposed to be. My health FAILED ME about 20 years ago. Doctors didn't give me much to hope for. It's only been in the last few years that I found a doctor and the right medications to heal my conditions. The constant feeling of 'any day now' looming over your head can play hard on your mind. Especially when there is no family support and you're walking the journey alone. My health has went through hell and there has been no one to help. 

 There has been - Too many people imputing their opinion, too many influences, too many complications with the kids and families. It's been hard for me to feel AT HOME or that I'm in the right place for a long time. I actually became more comfortable being homeless in the car and always on the move, than to be 'stuck' somewhere or with someone that didn't want me around. 

 This move, is different.

 For one, I didn't pick where to go, it was a gift handed to me. For once it's going to be totally affordable, no high end move in fees, no outrageous rent hikes. Someplace totally new that I never would have chosen on my own. All brand new and freshly remodeled 'for me'. { I prefer new to old, it has a lot to do with the places lived growing up, and during marriages. } It's going to be 'my first real home'. No more RV's or temporary housing. 

 The humorous side of it is, it's huge! 1400 sq ft of space {Bigger than the last 2 places I've lived} and I really don't have any furniture to put in it. Great big open spaces to fill. And I'm in a little car now instead of big trucks - so to 'go get stuff and load it up' won't be possible. I will be needing delivery on most things lol. The car being another big change. It's been 20 years in SUV's and Trucks. I haven't had a car since like 2006? Mind you I'm loving it! I miss the cars more than I realized. I've spent the last year and a half without any house plants, which kills me. I suspect it will become a jungle inside depending on the lighting.

 So many things will be different than what it's been, so many things new and renewed. I'm 60 and I'm finally getting to have a fresh start in 'my life'. Blessings have been pouring in over the last few months. I'm overwhelmed at times watching things work out, and in my favor for a change.  God has been so good to me. The wonderful people He's brought into my life, the issues He's opened my eyes to showing me what needs to change. This truly is the move of a lifetime. To be my heaven on earth, for what time I am left here. It's a secure senior community and I've always planned on living in a senior community almost looking forward to being over 55 to be able to get in. lol. 

Less than 3 weeks to go! 

Blessed by God

Life's getting better @ the Bright Side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

Happy Birthday David

 

Today is my oldest son's birthday. He's 43 today. He always was a daddy's boy, so the divorce hit him the hardest. Yet for many years he did stand up and look out for mom.

 Over the years he's told many a good story, I guess you could call it reality from his eyes, even though a lot of it was untrue. I've heard some of the wild stories told. I've been confronted by those that believe his lies. 

He used to pop into my life from time to time, until a few years ago. For reasons I don't know or understand he has completely shut the door between us. His little sister has done her own share of things to come between us and His dad has a lot to answer for when he stands before the Lord. Lying to the kids is but one of them. Turning the kids against their mother would be another. The damages he and his wife have done to all the kids, a shame. 

I have 2 granddaughters that I've only ever met a handful of times. Their mom a daughter in law that has tried to bring them around but been trapped by the 'other side of the family' drama. My son didn't want me in his life or his children's lives, so I being me have respected that. I only hope he makes his peace with the Lord before it's too late. 

There is nothing worse than the feeling of knowing your child is headed to hell not heaven. You pray daily and you hold onto hope. You know you can't buy them a ticket this time, they have to make it their own journey. I can only pray that God will someday reach his heart and help him see the errors of his ways. 

Blessed by God

Family is important @ the Bright Side of the Barn.

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

Housework

There is only carpet in the bedrooms, the rest of the house is flooring. I spent a couple hours last night mopping from one end to the other and woke up with a pain in my lower back. I think I'm getting too old for this. But it does look really nice and smells much better. 

Yes, I have a nose for dirt and dust.  

With the weather getting better and the sun shining more, I have a need to dust everything and wash the windows next. I don't like seeing streaks or fingerprints in the glass when the sun is shining through. Thankfully all my nick nacks are still packed away, as they would usually be getting dusted off as well. Back in the day I had a ton of princess house crystal, and yes, every piece had to shine crystal clear. Those days are gone, and I've often wished I would have bought something different at the time. 

Moving day coming soon. 

Still a bit of anxiety about it all and will be glad when it's complete. I will finally be able to unpack and relax completely. I've heard it's about 1400 square feet, which is about 500 more than the house was. I don't know yet if that means more floors to mop or if there will be carpeted to vacuum. I also heard it's a basement suite, so I'm a little concerned about how bright or dark it will be and how many windows. I did find out it has covered parking 😊Having the convertible now, makes that a bonus.  Yep, I'm moving sight unseen. From what I understand this space is being converted to an apartment with me in mind, so I feel humbly blessed. 

God does amazing things in our lives! I'm grateful every day. I almost feel like I've been turned in the direction of getting answers to my repeated requests about 'what to do with a particular situation'. This weekend and yesterday a few things happened that I am praying lead to the solution. God is so great! 

Blessed by God

Life's good @ the Bright Side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

June 2nd - Already

 It took an hour and 12 minutes to get the internet turned on this morning! ugh. What a fiasco! 

 First thing in the morning I change the scripture of the day. Using the little bread of life box. I find it interesting how some days the scripture fits perfectly and other days - like horoscopes, I just don't see it. 

 Hard to believe it's June already! My time in the house has flown by and I've appreciated every minute of it. With the upcoming move and life changes I've been counting every dollar and cutting every corner to make sure I can do this 'and make it on my own'. Thankfully mystery shopping and inspections really help fill the gaps.

 Dang! Cat food alone is $60 a month for 2 cans a day. Plus the dry food. Thankfully the rescue gave me a big 35 pound bag and they are still eating out of it, 4 months later. I've been working on the quitting smoking and don't spend $10-$15 a day on cigarettes anymore. So that will help immensely. My horse is in a better place and more affordable. So thankful to a dear friend and spiritual sister, Bless her heart. I don't know how I would have made it work if I had not moved StarBright. Bonus, she really likes where she is now too. Getting the gift of a car has cut my gas expense in half or more! 

 I've never had so many people to help before. It's always been just the kids and I and now the kids are all out on their own with their own families, it's been just me, myself and I trying to make it.  It's been absolutely amazing and very blessed by all the miracles. Found Sylvester sleeping on the new kitty post this morning. I think he really likes it! 

 My medical insurance sent me a little gift card for completing some things and I used it to buy Chanelle a little dog bed. Then my dear friend gave me a kitty cat post, which Sylvester has enjoyed to the fullest. Found him sleeping on it when I got up this morning. Usually, he's in bed with me. 

 Even miss Cleo has had some time playing Queen of the castle. She is still not completely sure of it to hang out too long but does enjoy the scratchy parts to do her nails. It is sturdier than the palm tree we have. Sometimes the cats practically pull it over on themselves when they are doing their nails. It's a bit humorous to watch. 

 Tim had to attend a meeting with his nation yesterday and it looks like his DB money will be getting doubled. First raise on that one in about 20 years! Plus, he found out about assisted housing on the reserves, so it looks like his plans to return to Canada are back on. The have elder assistance and with him being an elder now, he's qualified for the help. 

 The original plan of him going to his mom's was not a good idea with him and her husband not getting along. {The guy drinks hard core}. Still trying to sell the Expedition for him, as he doesn't like driving a big truck and with the high cost of gas in Canada, he truly needs something more economical. 

Having the camera view to see my girl anytime has been such a stress relief! 

Never had such an ability before. 

I think having a camera where you board your horse is an awesome idea!!

 Praying every day for the answers and to know what direction the Lord wants me to turn in. How He wants me to proceed and where does He want me to go. Almost finished another devotional book. Getting ready to engage in a Bible study that I'm really looking forward to. Hoping it will add to the road map that's ahead of me. 

 Countdown to moving day. Hopefully the apartment will be ready by the end of this month. As it should be my final move. I am So grateful to Jake, Sarah and everyone who has helped make this happen for me. Amazing miracles happening this year. Better than winning a lottery. 

Blessed by God

Life's amazing @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.