Birthday Wishes

 This will be the 3rd year in a row, I've only wanted 2 things for my birthday. 

And it will probably be the 3rd year in a row, that I don't get one of them.

The number one reason I don't really like birthdays or Christmas, is the gifts. 

 I always love what the kids get me, it used to be homemade when they were little, and it's become beautifully thought out as they get older. 

I don't like it when people spend money that they don't really have, or buy something that means nothing, just because they feel they 'have to do something. Or when they have no clue to my likes and dislikes.

 Cards are always appreciated; there is often more thought put into a card than a gift. They are usually more affordable too. 

 I love it when the kids come together. Seems my birthday and Christmas are about the only time I get to see them all together. It means a lot to me, when they come together. After all - we all did live together for years when they were young. It helps me a lot, I don't think they realize how much. 

Birthdays were hard as a child, not so good with the first marriage and even worse with the second. The kids do better than they all did.

 I did enjoy seeing all the kids together for my birthday, that was the only good thing about it. My situation made it hard for me to enjoy being at the park or eating BBQ. Being invited somewhere with a home cooked meal would have been so much more enjoyable with my circumstances at the time.

 Holidays are hard for me. Last Christmas was horrible, probably the worst one yet.  I can only hope it is better this year. 

 What I really have wanted would mean the world to me, but as I said, I probably won't get it again this year. So, I don't put high expectations on it. I'm being careful not to talk to anyone about my birthday, or Christmas. Seems my thinking out loud has led to disappointments for me. And I don't think I can handle so much of that again.

 I love them all dearly and appreciate the efforts. I just wish someone would know me well enough to understand me and have a clue as to what I would really want.. There are reasons I don't look forward to the days. I plan to buy myself a cake this year. Haven't' had a real store-bought cake in a while and that was something I have always wanted and never got on my birthday growing up.

Blessed by God

Life's full of mystery @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping By

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.