What Did You Do?

 When one of the kids would come and say, "So & so did this or did that to me". I would always ask - "What did you do?" 

I never assumed one side would be totally innocent, and the other totally to blame. 

"It takes two". 

 In adult relationships, quite often, one finds themselves frustrated at how much pity the other receives. As if they are totally innocent and only "one" is the problem or to blame. 

 Of course, his/her family/friends are going to feel sorry for him/her, when they only hear one side. 

Quite often ~ 

 Never have they asked, "What did you do?". They automatically 'take the side' and 'blame' the other. Even when they could see what he was doing, they justified it. "Well look at how she treats him". Never asking 'why she acts that way'. 

Or visa - versa. 

 Recent conversation with one of my daughters, in talking about what's been going on. Where things are and where they are going. I commented on how 'he always ends up 'taken care of' and we end up 'struggling to figure life out'. 

She pointed out to me, - His family has never accepted or included us. 

She's right.

 Not even when my kids were little did his family even buy them Christmas presents. They would come down from Canada with gifts for him and his son, and we were treated as if we were invisible. 

 Yet even my 'ex' mother-in-law, would always buy his son a gift and make sure he was included with my kids, never to feel left out. 

 Is it any wonder my kids would have an ounce of resentment towards his son?

 With everything that's been going on, 

I'm repeatedly told of the things I do or have done, and the words keep popping up in my head. 

Yep, and 'what did he do?' 

 Nobody ever asked that question.

There are - two sides to every situation and sometimes even 3 or 4. 

 Next time the kids come running to you to 'tell on someone else' 

remember to ask them, "What did you do?" 

You might be surprised at the answers. 

Blessed by God

The kids are grown @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping by

Until next time, Stay safe and Happy Trails.