Looking back, it's hard to say which was the best or which was the worst. They were all unique and original in their own ways. It's been a hard time of year for me, I've managed to overcome most of the dark and replace it with lighter happier memories.
We decorate Thanksgiving weekend - so I'm ready to take it down the day after Christmas. Once the kids had all the new things, it was time to get ready for the New Year. So, the day after Christmas was 'make it clean make it fresh.
In with the new and out with the old. I Drove everyone crazy!
We have had to move many times, not something I wanted. Something I had to do, because there was someone causing problems in my life that were life threatening.
My kids never got to feel like they were HOME. Neither did I for that matter. I'm currently looking to move again because of the same threatening situation. It wasn't the life I planned nor was it what I ever wanted. It was what I had to survive and what they had to endure. I always tried to make the best of it. I hope they understand someday, rather than blame me for what life was.
It was always the being together than mattered for me. I never could sleep well when my little ones were out of the house. Holidays were complicated with the divided families and divorce. It was having them with me that brought me joy, and still does to this day.
Being a single mom with 4 was hard. Money was always tight, and we didn't get child support financially, physically or emotionally. So, I was mom, dad, and every other entity that resembled family. We were alone in this country, I only had 1 brother that lived nearby. Never a big happy family holiday, just us and maybe a few friends. We missed out on all 'family events', birthdays, weddings, reunions, we were even excluded from funerals. Like I said, just us.
Holidays were just us and my roommate. I never minded the years of not getting anything for Christmas, I was happy to see them happy getting the things they wished for. I was grateful for all the help I would receive over the holidays, to be able to provide them with a 'good Christmas'.
A good meal and plenty of toys and clothes.
Remember, I had to buy and make up for an entire family that wasn't doing for them.
They are all grown up now. I've watched as my grandchildren are growing up into fine young adults. My great grandchildren are amazing and seem to grow even faster than children or grandchildren! Thankfully, I have so many photos to sort through, or I might have missed something!
You see,
My tree this year is filled with ceramic ornaments of pictures of the family throughout the years. I bought Amazon out on the round ornaments and had to get the ovals. They are pretty too - but - by next Christmas, there should be about another 40 or so more pictures! Hopefully on the round rather than the ovals.
I've reached the age where many of my friends are losing their mates, spending this Christmas on their own. They were blessed to have someone share the years with them, making memories, living in maybe one or two different places. Having the big family holidays and celebrations.
This is a hard year for many of us older folks. One of my brothers passed near my birthday this fall. It's the first Christmas without him.
It means something different the older you get. The magic is still there, the joy and the wonderful feeling inside - it doesn't matter how well off or broke we were, and still are. I've loved the magic of Christmas. Some years were quite painful, others were truly blessed. But the magic, the warmth and the feeling of Christmas was always there Christmas morning.
59 Christmas's ~ All I want is 59 more!
Blessed by God
Life's good @ the Bright side of the Barn
Thanks for stopping by
Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.
